What You Need to Know about the Preacher's Daughter

Five.
She's just like you. Though she may wear different shoes, or skirts that cover her knees, she looks at you and wants to be your friend.
But you look at her like she's an animal out of her cage, an elephant trying to fit in with lions, the coloring outside of the lines on a page.
She wants to blend in but all you let her do is stand out.
She is not her father, just as you are not yours, she is just like any other pretty young girl, begging to be noticed in this world.
Four.
She goes to church and knows the words but never speaks up because you're there watching.
You go when you want, to feel more religious, she goes on Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter and every day in between because she's made to.
The songs blend together and she falls asleep in service, and she acts like you because maybe it'll make you like her
But it doesn't matter because she's still the preacher's daughter.
And you'll still stare as she walks through the hall and send her to the slaughter of your words.
She shows no judgement towards you but that's all you do when you see her.
Three.
The attention you're so used to, from the opposite gender, she has not experienced outside of her three brothers.
So when a boy asks her what her bra size is she answers. When he asks for a picture she complies. When he grabs her butt it's all she knows and now all that is left is the sadness that grows inside her chest.
What's a girl to do when a boy shows interest in the appearance, and she knows no difference, this is how they all act, right?
She's not allowed to date but that's what a girl does, so she didn't wanna say no just because her parents said so.
They've told her that sex isn't love but all of you are so loved and she is left out so sex is what she gives to feel accepted but she only feels overwhelmed with hate for herself.
Two.
She spends her time alone in her room so she doesn't have to experience the stares that consume her.
She plays in her mind the interactions that lasted five seconds. Noting things she should have done different and maybe you'd listen.
She cries about the mistakes, the laughter that you make when she says something naive.
And I wish you would see how she's not even comfortable around her siblings because she's eaten by the words of your findings as to how she is different.
She changes her hair, her smile, her laugh. She pierces her ears to be more like you. She wears makeup to be noticed. She paints her nails and buys shorter shorts because she wants to be known by you.
Yet, she's still a square peg in a round hole.
One.
Underneath that steeple, she can see all the smiling people and know that they do not care about her
On a Sunday morning they give her hugs and ask how her week was but all they're prepared for is "fine."

She's tired of the same old every Sunday. She's tired of trying to get people to care. 

She dreams of ending it all. Yes, the preachers daughter.

But that's not how she sees it,

She sees it as breaking free.

The chains of people weighing her down she longs to get rid of and just go. 

Where? she doesn't know. Anywhere, I suppose.

But she's going to leave. Leave the world. 

Yes, the preachers daughter. 

She's the next martyr.